


Wheels

by Hadithi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, and it's barely there, gentle shipping though, i just want my children to have a nice time, more pining than anything, spoilers for bismuth casual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadithi/pseuds/Hadithi
Summary: After the events of Bismuth Casual, Steven and Connie take the night to just be teenagers - awkwardly finishing the night with Daniel and Patricia, driving too fast on dark roads, and sneaking in alone to an empty playground.Now with fan art for every chapter!
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 251
Kudos: 908





	1. At the Rink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonderful art by [Tinystarpaws!](https://tinystarpaws.tumblr.com/)

The night wasn’t going to get better.

Steven wasn’t sure he was ever going to stop cringing. At least he had managed to be cool as Stevonnie. At least Connie wasn’t so humiliated she was going to leave him, despite all his best efforts shoving her away the whole night. At least he… hadn’t brought up the White Diamond thing more than once? Every time he stopped to be alone for a moment, to catch his breath, he could feel embarrassment prickle at the back of his neck. He really was an idiot.

“Hey, Steven.” Connie rolled up beside him, stopping gracefully, perfect as ever. She cleared her throat, looking back at her friends, then quickly to him. “I was wondering, um… Do you think Daniel and Patricia are on a date?”

He blinked. “Wh-what?”

“My friends.” She drummed her hands nervously on the side of the rink. “I think we might be crashing their date? Oh my gosh. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re stupid? Connie, I fell on my face a million times.” He laughed even as the memory made his muscles tense up.

She waved him off. “Everyone does their first time. Don’t worry about it.”

“I brought up all the weird gem stuff!” he insisted.

She winced and conceded, “That was… awkward. But, you know, it’s fine. They’re nice. Everyone overshares sometimes. Just…” Connie groaned and hopped up on the edge, heavy skates clunking as she clambered up. “If this was supposed to be a date, and they’re supposed to be my friends, I really blew it tonight. And you brought us here to help Bismuth and I just ran off with my friends!”

Steven shook his head. “No! You’re fine! It’s my responsibility to care for the gems. You should just have fun.” He looked down at his hands and sighed. Gem stuff had held him back, and he’d thought he’d done a good job of keeping Connie out of it, but it felt like he was just pulling her back in, ruining her life the way he was ruining his. “I shouldn’t have dragged you here tonight.”

“You didn’t drag me.” She pushed his shoulder gently. “I always want to hang out with you, silly.”

“I always wanna hang out with you,” he mumbled, an automatic response to her reassurance. “And your friends are probably on a date. They’re alone together rollerskating.”

She laughed and groaned, hiding her face. “Ugh. I didn’t even ask. I just invited myself along. What am I gonna do?”

“Apologize and ask if they still want to hang out tonight.” He shrugged.

“Stop being so mature all the time.” She kicked his thigh playfully, and her phrasing brought an awful guilty twist to his gut for a moment before he shook it off. Off she hopped from the wall, holding her hand out to him. And, honestly, he probably didn’t need it anymore. If you were willing to fall and have someone catch you, learning how to skate around a ring wasn’t bad at all, and he was now skilled enough to shuffle slowly in a circle without breaking his nose.

He took her hand anyway, because it was nicer to do things together. She was all legs, and she shortened her stride to keep pace beside him as they rolled over to Daniel and Patricia, who both smiled and nodded as they approached. Connie gave his hand a little squeeze, and he was confused for a moment until it struck him. Connie was _nervous_. What was she nervous for?

“So… did I crash your date?” Connie asked, and the laugh that followed was pained.

Patricia grinned. “Yeah.”

As Connie whined with embarrassment, Dan said quickly, “No, it’s cool! You didn’t ruin it or anything, and we’ve been dating for a year. We don’t need to be alone all the time. If we didn’t want to hang out we could have said something.”

“Still, I’m sorry! I should’ve asked.”

“Connie, it’s fine,” Patricia assured. “Besides, double dates are great. Give you more stuff to talk about.”

“We’re not dating,” Steven said. Should he have said something earlier? Rescued Connie? But she hadn’t said anything earlier when he was talking. And they thought they were dating, which they weren’t, because of course Connie wouldn’t be dating him. His heart thudded in his chest, and suddenly words were pouring out of his mouth, “The fusion stuff isn’t a dating thing. I do it with lots of people. I do it with my dad! And I do it with Garnet and Pearl and Amethyst. They’re like my moms? But not really. My mom’s dead. They’re more like my guardians.”

Daniel laughed, and fear and worry burned Steven before the other boy said, “It wasn’t the fusion thing. It’s just how you guys hang. And how Connie never shuts up about you.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Connie said, her voice bright and overeager. Then, very uncharacteristically blurted, “He’s my super cool bestie. Lots to say about him.”

Patricia started steering the conversation towards more neutral topics - music, the lighting, the weather - and Steven couldn’t get over the joy starting to bubble up. He shouldn’t have been so excited, but a thrill went through him at the thought. Connie wasn’t perfect with other humans either. Did she get nervous a lot? Did she say weird stuff like he did? Did _everyone_?

As the night went on, Daniel made an awkward joke that nobody laughed at, just awkward smiles as it hung empty in the air. Patricia’s hot dog squirted ketchup and mustard and grease down the front of her shirt, leaving a stain she worried at for the rest of the night. Weird, clumsy moments kept happening, and through it all, he couldn’t stop being giddy because it wasn’t just him.

He and Connie split a fry, hot dog and drink combo because she could never finish anything and he wasn’t that hungry. He was surprised she didn’t even ask for a bite of the hot dog, though, and when he offered she flushed as she shot a glance to her friends and covered it up by grabbing their shared drink. Was sharing food that weird?

For the first time, Steven endured lingering glances and raised eyebrows over what he thought was normal best friend stuff. But Connie’s frequent scolding of, “Shut up” as her friends made an implication from her snatching their fries, or taking long sips of their drink, made him question that too. They seemed especially giggly over him and Connie sharing a soda, despite his confused explanation that they’d shared juice boxes since they were kids.

“We’re gonna be alone,” Patricia said with a grin as she and Dan got to their feet. “So… I guess you two can be alone.”

Connie waved as if her friends were sailing away on a cruise boat. “So long! Have a nice trip! You suck!”

They laughed as they went off to the rink, and Steven’s eyes went a little wide. “So that’s really how normal kids talk to each other?”

“Guess so.” She said, propping her cheek up in her hand as she swirled a fry through a mound of ketchup. “I wouldn’t talk to _you_ like that. Sorry. I should’ve asked them not to tease us so much. I don’t think they really get that you’ve been…” She paused dramatically and raised an eyebrow. “ _Homeschooled._ ”

He snorted. “Nice.”

“Don’t lie. It was awful.” She grinned, but it faltered. “Really. Sorry though. Maybe I should be sticking up for you more. It’s just hard, you know, making two different worlds match up. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, his eyes drifting over to Bismuth and Pearl skating. “You can say that again.”

“It’s fine when it’s you, you know?” Connie said, popping the fry into her mouth. She covered her lips with one hand as she kept talking, something he noted she hadn’t done with her friends around. She had politely waited to swallow her food, but he apparently didn't get that decency. “But when it’s you and my friends it’s like I can’t figure out who I’m supposed to be.”

“Stop reading my mind!” He laughed and nudged her, and alone together everything felt like it was back where it was supposed to be. Of course Connie could relate. Of course she wanted to spend time with him. Of course she didn’t want to run off and leave him. All of that made sense when they were Stevonnie, or when they were alone, as impossible as it was to grasp when she was out being funny and pretty and talented with her friends. “Geez, I thought I was going to be too weird for you to wanna hang out with.”

“Never. You’re the best.” She smiled, and gave his cheek a poke as heat rushed in from the compliment. “Blushy.”

He hesitated, but leaned over to peck her cheek in the same spot she had poked him. As her face darkened, just barely noticeable in the soft lighting, he grinned shyly and poked her back. “You too.”

They giggled, and as the song came to a close, _Can’t Hold Me_ started playing again. They looked back to the booth and saw Sour Cream giving them a thumbs up, beckoning them back to the ring, and they laughed as they hunched over the table and worked harder on finishing up their fries. The container was soon in the bin, and they were back on the rink, Steven’s soda in hand and they skated side by side.

“I’m surprised you like this song so much,” he said with a giggle. “You’re usually not into that kind of thing.”

“What kind of thing?” Her eyebrows came together as she troubled it out. “Like, pop? I like more pop than you.”

He laughed. “No! I mean the adult stuff.”

“Liiiike…” He saw her brain working as she ran through the song lyrics. She listened to the song as it played, her mouth forming the words with careful contemplation until she finally reached the conclusion of: “Lingerie?”

He felt a smile tug his mouth up, as hard as he tried to fight it. She had just said her friends had teased too much and she should have stopped them. It would be mean to keep going. But he knew something she didn’t, and for once tonight, he wouldn’t be the one who looked stupid. “Yoooou don’t know what those lyrics mean.”

“I know what the lyrics mean.” She scowled and looked away. “It’s not that inappropriate.”

“Tell me,” he insisted.

“I’m not saying it in public.”

Steven scoffed. “Text me.”

Her face scrunched up in a pout as she tugged out her phone, dropping his hand to frantically type, keeping it close to her chest so it was a struggle to see what she had written. “Let me check the lyrics to make sure I don’t say the wrong thing.”

It was tricky to be sneaky in skates, especially when he wasn’t exactly graceful yet, but he peeked over her shoulder and bit back another grin. “You know, if you’re just looking for lyrics, you can get a less annotated version from sites other than song meanings dot com.”

She squeaked and clutched her phone to her chest, laughing as she did a twirl on her skates. “Steven! Fine. You caught me. We weren’t all raised by rock stars, you know. Some of us can’t pick up on subtle adult content.”

“It’s not subtle.”

“Then tell me!” She gave him a push that, on rollerskates, had him slipping back for a couple of panic filled moments before she grabbed his wrist and tugged him back to her again. “Whisper it in my ear so no one hears.”

He flushed. “Seriously?”

“Texting will take forever. Just tell me!”

He could never get over just how exciting it was to whisper in her ear without needing to be on tiptoe, without her having to bend down, now that he had grown and they were finally the same height. He felt his face darken as he cupped his hands around her ear and, as delicately as he could manage, explained exactly what the lyrics to _Can’t Hold Me_ were supposed to mean. When he pulled back, her eyes were wide, her hands clasped over her open mouth, and she was covered in goosebumps. He didn’t understand the last one.

“It _doesn’t_!” she gasped.

“It does,” he confirmed, trying not to laugh at her shock.

“Oh no. Steven, it _can’t_! I sang that song on the ride over! In front of Pearl and Bismuth!” Her hands went to her cheeks as the realizations kept coming. “Oh my gosh. I sing that song in the _shower_! What if my parents heard?”

He laughed and consoled, “It’s just music. Dad says nothing’s off-limits in a song.”

“Your dad says that!” Connie squeaked. “My dad says no kissing until I graduate college!”

He grinned, despite the odd feeling he always got when Connie casually joked about what her parents would and wouldn’t allow when it came to dating. “So… wanna do the usual?”

“Pretend this never happened and go back to normal friend stuff?” she replied. “Yes. Totally. One usual, please.”

And they did for a bit, for one loop around the ring, but he couldn’t help himself. It was so nice to be alone with her, to talk to her without the overwhelming mess of being inhuman and wrong and left out from spending two years hopping from planet to planet and growing apart from his friends. So he couldn’t help but confess, “It’s nice to know stuff you don’t.”

She blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I just… you’re really smart. You’re smarter than me.” He caught sight of her face, already eager to defend his intelligence, and said, “Don’t say that’s not true. You’re really smart, Connie. You know loads of stuff. More stuff than I do. But you don’t know everything and, I guess… I think it’s nice when I know stuff you don’t sometimes. Sorry if that’s mean.”

“It’s not.” She moved closer, then back with a little scowl. She was looking to hug, to better wrap her arms around him, to rest her head against his like she always did when he needed a pick me up, but they were on rollerskates and in public and Steven was starting to get the feeling that they touched a little too much to be normal to other people. “It sounds like you’ve been beating yourself up lately.”

“What? No.” He swallowed a ball of panic. “I’m fine.”

Connie continued anyway, “I get nervous when I hear you say stuff like the gems being your responsibility, or all the stuff you said right after you raced across the rink.”

“It’s noth-” he started, but she cut him off.

“I’ve been really busy lately. And… and I feel like, with all the gempire stuff, you were on your own a lot.” She winced, looking as guilty as he felt for starting the whole conversation, and said, “We don’t talk as much as when we were kids. But I want you around, you know that, right?”

Steven nodded a little. “I forget sometimes. But yeah. I know we’re best friends no matter what.”

Her hand tightened on his, her voice more insistent, “And it’s not your responsibility to take care of the gems. You’re a teenager! We were kids! They’re thousands of years old. All the problems they told us about, about the big scary stuff, all the things you told me that they said to you. They can’t just push everything onto…” She stopped, catching her breath. “You deserve a break.”

He looked down at how hard her hand was squeezing, enough to start to sting. “Are you… mad?”

“Frustrated.” She eased her grip. “Just worried about you.”

Another I’m fine wouldn’t cut it tonight. He fumbled for a way to end the conversation and settled for another kind of honesty. “Tonight was the best night I’ve had in a long time. Being Stevonnie with you again was amazing. When we’re together, I feel happy and confident and… and it was nice to be with humans. It was nice to feel human and not like a disaster.”

“You’re not a disaster,” she whispered, pulling him to a stop. “Why would you say that?”

“I fell on my face-”

“I fell on my face my first time!” she cried. “And I fell on my face the first time I warped with you, to the Sky Arena. Steven, you’re not a disaster! You’re just… over your head. You need water wings or an inner tube or something.”

“Or a life vest,” he tried to joke, tried to ease the mood.

Connie’s hands fell over her heart, clutched there. “And I can be that for you like you used to be for me. I know human stuff is hard. Trust me, I really, _really_ do. I can help! And… Steven, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have friends at all.”

He laughed. “That’s not true.”

“You were my _first_ friend,” she said, almost pleading. “You liked me when no one else did. You were the reason I was able to be brave. You’re the reason I figured out how to make other friends. Steven, you changed my whole life. Do you really think I don’t want to help you?”

“But you helped me through everything.” Steven frowned, remembering all the moments she’d been by his side, the moments she chose to stay, the things he’d told her and no one else. Guilt squeezed his heart at the thought of how he'd leaned on her, relied on her when he should have handled it on his own. “Through all the gem stuff, through Home-”

She cut him off, a little too fast, and threw her arms around him in a desperate hug. “It’s fine! I’m there for you and you’re there for me. We’re not keeping score. Just have fun with me while we’re together. We’ll share some tots.”

Steven’s face buried against the crook of her neck, breathing in coconut shampoo and probably some sweat, and trying not to focus on the stinging at his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry in front of a bunch of people he didn’t know. He didn’t want to talk about all the things that swirled in his head. Instead, he mumbled a correction, “There’s no tots on the board.”

“Then drive me to McKing’s,” she whispered in his ear, halfway between joking and angry.

“But… Pearl and Bismuth,” he said as he pulled back. “We can’t just ditch them.”

“They can call a rideshare. Or ask one of Pearl’s many _friends_ to give them a lift.” She grinned and put finger quotes around friends. Apparently, even Connie couldn’t be that oblivious to the gem’s flirtations. She grabbed his hands and shook them a little. “Come on! When’s the last time we just… you know? Ran off. Just us.”

“It’s been a while,” he agreed uncertainly. “You’ve been studying a lot.”

She held up a finger to educate. “Normal Human Lesson Number One, breaking the rules and staying out past curfew is exactly what you’re supposed to do as a teenager.”

Steven laughed. “That’s not what _you_ do.”

Connie dropped his hands to do another twirl. She was still as graceful and perfect as ever. She was all long legs and a cute smile and wit. But there wasn’t anyone around, so his brain didn’t race to say, _And you’re all stubby legs and a dorky smile and an idiot_. It was them, so he was comfy. And he admired her. And he was excited about staying up way, way too late for once.

“I wanna break from being responsible,” she told him, and his heart pounded from the thought. “Let’s just have some fun again.”


	2. In the Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie go for a drive.
> 
> Art by the wonderful [Funneylizzie!](https://funneylizzie.tumblr.com/)

Despite her giddiness for breaking the rules, Connie did insist they tell Pearl and Bismuth their plans. Being gems, any worries over two teens speeding off into the night flew right over their heads as they instead focused on their own rides home. Connie was more than happy to show her mentor how to call a rideshare to the rink. Pearl gleefully explained to Bismuth that she had never used one before, as humans were so friendly and constantly offered her rides home.

As Connie returned to his side, Steven thought about driving out, having to focus on the wheel and the road, and exhaustion crept in a little. It had already been such a long night, and they were going to speed out even further from Beach City. He wouldn’t even get to enjoy the silhouetted trees in the darkness. And then an idea struck. Because it was just him and Connie now, wasn’t it? He and Connie had always bent the rules a little.

They stepped into the parking lot and he slipped his hand into his pocket. Out came his keys around his index finger, and he offered them to her with an easy smile. “You wanted tots. You can drive.”

“I’m on my permit,” she muttered.

He couldn’t resist. “Baby says what?”

“It’s a sixteen month difference!” she cried, giving him a laughing push, and he stumbled to the side as she caught him off guard. “We need an adult in the car. And technically we can’t drive this late. And I think you might actually not be allowed to have more than one passenger?” She trailed off for a second, then pointed down at his gem. “I mean, take the average and you’re still technically a few thousand years old, right?”

He tossed the keys to her perfect catch. “Works for me.”

As ravenous for independence as he had been, Connie was all too happy for the chance to get in the driver’s seat. He slipped over to the passenger side as she leaped in, adjusting the wheel and mirrors and seat despite their very similar heights making half of it pointless. Steven tried not to watch her, but it was hard to ignore the adorable excitement for something that had already become mundane to him.

He focused on his phone instead, plugging in the aux and searching for the perfect song outside of his admittedly extensive cassette collection. Said collection rattled in the center console as the car jerked forward. He jerked in his seat and found a sheepish grin on Connie’s face when he glanced over at her. “What was-?”

“Lot more get up and go than my dad’s car,” she explained. “I’ve got it. Hold on.”

“Are you going to kill us?”

“You can bubble.” The car set off again, not lurching and jerking, but Steven eyed the speedometer as it steadily crept to _exactly_ five over the speed limit and stopped there. She tapped his leg without looking away from the road. “Open the windows and sunroof and put on something really good. Like, something we can sing to.”

That was easy enough. He let the opening to _Mr. Blue Sky_ fill the car, beaming at Connie’s squeal. She rolled down the window on her side while he flipped everything else open. Wind rushed in, cold and biting but exhilarating as they rushed down the empty road. They leapt into the lyrics, singing over the wind too loud to sound pretty, more shouting than anything.

The wind whipped Connie’s short hair in a maelstrom of thrill as she took a corner too hard, laughing through the lyrics as teenage stupidity and a long since numbed fear of danger made every mistake a rush. The roads were long and quiet and empty, and as he sang Steven looked around the world around him. The sparkling sea beneath the moonlight, distant stars twinkling overhead, the black masses of trees that lined the roads.

On came _Heaven is a Place on Earth_ , and Steven gripped the door every time the chorus hit. Caught up in the excitement, Connie’s foot would push the pedal down, ten to fifteen over on the empty highway. But he’d driven faster than that, alone and angry and listening to Megadeth and Metallica and trying to ignore the pink flush to his skin, so he didn’t say a word. He doubted they'd get caught, and couldn't make himself care either way.

“How much farther to McKing’s?” Steven said as the second song wound down.

“Ooooh, right. I don’t know where we are!” Connie laughed. A glance to him, a wobbly car from her inexperience and distraction, then eyes back on the road. “Shotgun navigates.”

He let shuffle continue to do its thing and was treated to an absolutely abysmal rap attempt from Connie for his negligence. His hands shook on his phone as he kept bursting into laughter, covering his face, scolding her to cut it out or he’d never be able to focus on the map, which only had her shouting the lyrics that she didn’t know more enthusiastically.

When he finally got it plugged in and set up on the dash, she restarted the song with a tap of her finger. “You sing it if you’re so good.”

“I’m not that good.”

“You’re that good,” she said simply, and the car slowed as her turn signal flipped on, guiding them off the highway.

The words she stumbled over came easily to his tongue, and he watched her hair flutter in the breeze, her eyes shine in the moonlight, and her lips noiselessly try to form the lyrics. When it came to a close, she sighed and glanced over at him with a smile. He reached out to hold the wheel steady as she drifted. “You’re amazing. Next time we go out with my friends we’ve got to do karaoke so I can show you off.”

“So _you_ can show me off?” He teased. “Don’t you mean so I can show off?”

“Right,” she said, and he cursed the dim light that kept him from knowing if she was blushing.

They sang softer, though still enthusiastically, as they pulled up to the McKing’s, and Connie whispered with a thrilled giggle, “I’ve never gone through a drive-through before! Oh, geez, I hope I don’t scrape your car.” She swung around (very nearly scraping the Dondai and giving him a larger heart attack than any of the wild swerves from earlier), and leaned out the window to look at the menu. “Can we get a double cheeseburger, just the sandwich aaaand… what do you want?”

“Don’t you want tots?”

“No.”

“We came here for tots.”

“You can get tots. I changed my mind.”

He snorted, leaning over her as he had done countless times before. “Okay, uh, can I get a number two combo meal? Veggie patties. And,” he looked back to her, their faces inches apart, which was fine, even if his heart wasn’t in agreement about that. Geez, it’d be so easy to lose his balance and accidentally send his lips crashing into hers. His stomach tightened as he did his best to make sure that didn’t happen. “Are you going to eat any tots if I get them?”

“No.”

“We came here for tots.”

“I changed my mind.”

“And a side of tater tots,” he said, falling back into his seat as he dug for his wallet. “You can’t have any.”

She looked insulted. “I can’t even have one?”

He laughed. "You said you changed your mind!"

"Well, yeah," she said as she pulled forward. "But I can have one or two, right?"

Steven had his card out, but as they pulled to the window Connie stretched her phone out the window to pay before he could, with only the briefest of arguments over whose turn it was to pay. The car filled with the smell of hot fast food as they took off, an easy drive until Connie hit the highway again and his back slammed into his seat.

“Gentle!” he scolded.

“I need to get up to speed to merge.”

“There’s no cars!”

“But if there were, it would’ve been a great merge,” she said with a wry smile that he’d fallen in love with a dozen times before. Steven laughed as he tugged open the bag, tearing into the first of his two cheeseburgers. Her eyes kept flicking over to him, each time making the car drift and making him grab the wheel to even her out.

“That smells really good,” she sighed longingly.

“You want yours?” He tugged out the burger and offered it.

Again, a flick of her eyes, then a quiet admittance of: “I can’t drive one-handed.”

A startled laugh burst from him. “What?”

“I’m still learning!” she squeaked. “I haven’t had my permit that long and I don’t get to drive that much and Mom’s not going to let me practice distracted driving!”

“So you wanna pull over?” He jerked his thumb to the wide, empty shoulder.

“No. Driving’s fun.” She laughed. “I don’t know. Feed me? Put on some more music too.”

“ _Feed_ you?”

She laughed, shaking her head as her face scrunched up with embarrassment. “Just hold it to my face so I don’t have to look away from the road!”

“This is a bad idea.” He unwrapped her burger, the now unfamiliar smell of meat a bit odd to his nose. His other hand flicked on _Careless Whisper_ as he smirked and held the burger up to her face.

Connie squealed and leaned back, again sending the car wobbling in the lane. “You’re gonna make us crash!”

And, seeing how hard she wobbled and slightly concerned for the safety of the Dondai, Steven just flipped over to his local indie rock playlist. He put the burger back up to her mouth, trying to hold it steady as he ate his own. As he watched her. Was it weird to just be happy to see someone so happy? Was it dumb to just want everything to stay like this?

Steven didn’t know a lot about humans anymore. Two years in space and when he came back everything felt different like a wall had fallen down between him and the world he thought he knew. It was there when he was alone with Lars in the bakeshop. It was there when he tried to talk to Sadie and her band. It was even there when he tried to talk to his dad, when gem stuff trickled in and Dad did his best but nerves got the best of him.

Connie giggled as she ate a two-dollar cheeseburger from his hand, and sped down the empty black road, and Steven wasn’t sure if there was anything that could trip her up anymore. Gem stuff. Human stuff. Somehow Connie was managing both and succeeding at both and he could only hope that she’d shorten her strides so he could keep up.

But at least the wall wasn’t between them.

* * *

Sometime after Steven had awkwardly tossed tots into Connie’s mouth, she had taken a second to lean forward over the wheel and peer up at the stars and suddenly panic. “That’s the north star! We’re driving towards the north star!”

“Yeah?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Is that… bad luck or something?”

“Steven, Big River City is _north_ of Beach City! If we’re _still_ driving north we’ve been driving away from home!” She groaned and sunk into her seat, panic whining _nonono_ as she searched for the nearest exit to get back on the highway the right way.

He fumbled for his phone, pulling out navigation, and whispered, “We’re not gonna get home until nearly _three_.”

“But it’s only one thirty!” She glanced back at him in shock. 

“Forty minutes to the rink in Big River City,” Steven counted out.

“About fifteen to the McKing’s,” she agreed with a slightly nervous edge to her voice.

“And you’ve been driving the wrong way for about thirty minutes.” He held up his phone. “ETA two fifty five.”

She swept a hand through her hair before quickly clinging to the wheel again. On came the signal as she found her exit and the car strained around the clover as she failed to slow down enough for the turn. “Are the gems gonna be okay?”

“The gems?” he gasped. His hands clung to her arm. “Of course they’ll be fine! When have they ever cared about me staying out late? Your parents-”

“They’re on nights again.” She brushed him off.

It took him a second to remember the phrase he’d heard so commonly throughout his childhood. There were nights that Connie was rushed home before nightfall, her curfew strict and well defined. And then there were nights when she winked and whispered _they’re on nights_ , when both her parents were stuck working from nine p.m. to five a.m., and all Connie needed was to beat them home.

“Text mom that I’m home for me? I promised I'd tell her when I got in.” She pointed down. “It’s in my front pocket. Just grab it for me.”

He stared at it. “I thought you weren’t going to lie to her anymore.”

“Everyone lies to their parents a little,” she mumbled. “It’s fine.”

“But you shouldn’t,” Steven pressed. “You promised that you would-”

“Did you tell the gems about White’s Head?” Connie asked flatly, “Or are we both still keeping that secret?”

He texted Priyanka without another word.

* * *

_One Forty A.M._

The album finished, and her phone was already in her hand. He put his feet up on the dash, ignoring her quick rant _Steven if we get into a crash the airbags will deploy and ram your knees into your face you shouldn’t-_ and instead opened up the music app that was on the front page of her phone. “So what are you listening to nowadays?”

“Put the phone down,” she said flatly. “Put on one of your five million tapes.”

Steven whistled as his thumb flicked hard and sent songs scrolling by. “That’s a _lot_ of musicals.”

“Who doesn’t like musicals?” she protested.

“You have _two copies_ of Heathers.”

“No, wait! I can explain!” she squeaked. “It’s not just the different singers. I’m not that obsessed. There’s the Sixteenth Street Kansas Production and then the _off_ Sixteenth Street Kansas Production and they have different songs, so if I didn’t put both albums on I couldn’t listen to every song.”

Steven grinned. “Where’s your local music? Don’t you support local industry? Or is that just for the lemonade you drink out of mason jars?”

“The local music is in the cassettes you give me, that I bought a tape recorder for, because you’re from 1982,” she said, laughter in her voice despite the sternness. “And what’s wrong with mason jars? They’re reusable. Good for the environment. I’m supporting the local economy! You can’t complain about my being all hipstery when you have a cassette collection.”

“Huh,” he mused, waving the phone gleefully. “Lot of k-pop boy bands.”

She shrieked with embarrassed laughter. “Stop! I like the harmonies!”

* * *

_One Fifty Six A.M._

It was an old argument by now, but they hadn’t had it in person yet. He kicked the fast-food bag flat as he said, “So if you agree that killing animals for food is wrong, why do you still eat meat?”

“Because voting with your wallet is a lie and change needs to come from the top down,” she insisted. “I’m not going to sacrifice my protein intake when it doesn't-”

He cut her off with an exasperated cry, “Just eat beans and peas and yogurt! They’re _better_ protein than most meats!”

“I’m Indian! I’m so sick of beans and peas and paneer and lentils and plants! If Dad asks me to put two pounds of lentils in the crockpot for a _lentil marathon_ one more time I’m gonna scream!” Her hands slammed on the wheel with a frustrated shout. “I’ll eat your bean head! How’s that for vegetarian?”

* * *

_Two O’ Six A.M._

“The cinematrography, Connie,” he groaned and giggled. “Oh my gosh. You have no idea.”

“I saw a compilation on TubeTube about the writing. Is there a _cult_ now?”

“There’s two cults.”

“Isn’t it a drama about summer camp?”

“Now it’s about cults!”

“Oooh. That’s not good. Peridot must have been so upset.”

* * *

_Two Twelve A.M_

“She said she’d hang out with me even if we didn’t have a good reason." His knees were curled to his chest, his chin resting on top of them. "I never thought I’d hear Peridot be so… I don’t know. Willing to waste her time on something she doesn’t care about?”

She poked his cheek, to rough in her haste to get her hand back on the wheel. “Yeah. She wouldn’t. She cares about _you_ , silly.”

He cleared his throat that had suddenly tightened, tried to wipe his eyes in a way that she wouldn’t see and asked, “Are you guys on again or off again right now?”

“Ask her what she thinks of _A Cruel Angel’s Thesis_ and find out.”

“Off again.”

“Put on _A Cruel Angel’s Thesis._ I’ve got an English cover.”

* * *

_Two Sixteen A.M._

There was sunshine at two in the morning just from Connie cheering, “ _Againagainagainagain_!” and the sound of their voices together in a song they both loved.

* * *

_Two Thirty-Two A.M._

He was starting to get tired. Steven stayed up this late a lot, but he wasn’t _out_ this late a lot. He had been too tired to drive before, and as he clicked his seat back a few notches he could almost feel himself starting to fall asleep. That wouldn’t work. He couldn’t leave Connie to drive alone, even if closing his eyes felt like heaven.

He pulled his seat back up as he realized he recognized the landscape. _That_ would be a wakeup call. “Up ahead. Around this corner? It’s one of the straightaways the cool kids raced down. Floor it.”

“I’m sorry, what?” She looked away from the road for an instant, car wobbling before she looked back. She really wasn’t good at distracted driving. She really wasn’t good at driving at all. Maybe it was a bad idea.

“Just slam the pedal all the way down,” he said anyway. He took a deep breath as a hand came around his lungs, making every breath start to come as a gasp from the excitement. “I’ve done it a dozen times since I got my license. We’re in Beach City limits. Basically no cops, and definitely no cops past midnight.”

Connie laughed, fingers tightening and loosening on the wheel with excitement. “Steven, I can’t drive. We’re gonna _die_.”

“So what else is new?”

Her breath started to match his. Over and over her eyes glanced to him, to the wheel, to the road as she struggled to make her decision. Finally, he saw her Adam’s apple bob. “Just… slam it down? All the way to the floor?”

“All the way,” he confirmed.

“Steven, I’m gonna kill us,” she said again, but as she came up to the turn, the car was already accelerating.

“I trust you.” He gripped the door with a grin. “With everything.”

They hit the straightaway, the gentle curve of the road easing into a long stretch of sparkling sea on their left and sloping dark hills to their right. He was leaned back, but he still felt the hit of acceleration as Connie’s foot slammed down, as her back thudded against the seat and made her let out an _oof_ that would’ve started off his laughter if it wasn’t already pouring out of him.

As they gunned it down the highway, his heart went hummingbird wild in his chest. The sound of Connie’s shrieks filled his ears, laughter and screams of terror and warrior cries he hadn’t heard in months. His seatbelt held him down as joy burned so bright he felt himself floating, barely holding back enough to make sure the car didn’t lose contact with the road. His gem glowed, pink light creating sparkling pinpoint flashes in the dark as instincts screamed at him to bubble them both.

Music was drowned out in hollering wind, ripping through the car and making even his curly hair thrash so hard it stung. Seventy. Eighty. Ninety. He looked away and focused on the long stretch of dark road that zoomed by and lost himself in the rush of it. It was stupid. So very, very stupid. But he wasn’t stupid alone, and his screams mixed with hers so in sync that he was sure if he touched her Stevonnie would be back in the car.

He had never gotten to look around before. Never gotten to soak up how quickly the scenery zoomed by at this speed - how the trees blurred to nothing, how the hills rolled by, how the ocean big and endless and shining didn’t seem to change at all.

How the homes flicked by as fast and meaningless as each flash of a strobe light.

They slowed. They stopped. The gear shift clicked into place as Connie fell back in her chair, laughing and happy and all he could do was match her. He looked up through the sunroof at the round moon overhead and thought for a moment about how Lapis had watched the world go by. Thought about how nice it was to be apart of it now instead.

She looked over at him, hair a wild, knotted up mess, and whispered, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Steven laughed. “You’re the one driving.”

“For being my friend.” Her hand reached out, hesitated, then finished its journey with a gentle sweep through his hair. She was always so careful, so gentle, so that even now with his hair as knotted as hers she didn’t snag or tug. “I’m so lucky you found me on that beach.”

He didn’t know how she could feel lucky. He wasn’t sure how being his friend could be a blessing, as he dragged her through violence and pain and war and abandonment. He didn’t know how she could want to be around him after Homeworld, after carrying him, after ripping her away from humanity again and again when gems slammed down onto their quiet little planet to take everything he loved away.

Steven whispered, “I’m sorry for what I put you through.”

“You didn’t put me through anything,” her fingers untangled a curl, then pulled away. The car shifted into drive, and tense lines went all down her body. “People hurt you and I tried to take some of the blows. That’s not on you. It’s on the people who did the hurting.”

“I’m still sorry.” He swallowed. “I don’t like it when you’re hurt. I’d do anything to keep you from getting hurt.”

“I feel the same way, dummy.” The car sped off, jerking into the night. “Why do you think I chose to stay?”

* * *

_Two Forty-Six A.M_

They were back in Beach City, and everything was soft lights and empty streets even now. City was a bit of a misnomer. Beach Town. Beach Village. They wove quietly through backroads and sang along to Connie’s music. He was surprised at her requests, and he put on song after song with deep emotional ache and longing, but he guessed that was a nice thing for night driving too.

“There’s a park near here,” she said, the car idling at a stop sign not far from her home. The turn signal clicked in a steady beat under the music, urging them to take the right. “A playground. Just a left turn and straight down the road. I’m already gonna be tired tomorrow, so would you maybe wanna…?”

“You just have to be back before five, right?” he asked.

She nodded and smiled, a little sheepish again. “And we’ll have to hop a fence. The playground’s in a gated community.”

“I’m pretty good at hopping.” He grinned.

Connie flipped the turn signal down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This got a RESPONSE, huh? Thank you guys so much! I'll get to comment replies soon, and hopefully have the last chapter up tomorrow!


	3. At the Playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie hop the fence to a playground.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Some mentioned animal hurt and violence.
> 
> [Link](https://suf-fering.tumblr.com/post/612447196415246336/all-their-hands-came-together-clasped-tight-in) to the amazing art from suf-fering!

Connie parked the Dondai in the lot of a pharmacy that was closed for another few hours yet, and they made the short walk to the fenced-in playground, tall metal bars with slightly pointed tips that came up to their chests. Connie frowned as her fingers traced over one, and he mimicked her without thinking, wondering what was so concerning about it.

“It’s pretty,” he said lightly.

“The school bus drove past here,” she murmured. “And every so often there’d be a deer caught on one that didn’t make the jump. They’re not sharp but with the full weight of a deer it’s…”

His hand pulled back, stomach suddenly churning with nausea. “Oh.”

“They could just smooth the tops and it wouldn’t happen. I never got that, why people wouldn’t do something so easy to keep from hurting other things? After the first time you see a deer dying, why wouldn’t you make it better?” Connie’s fingers delicately traced the dull point. “Even if you don’t think of them as people, is it really that hard to think of being nice?”

He stared at the fence and found it a little hard to breathe, the sound of gem shards crunching against each other in Pearl’s memory burning through his own. “Guess so. Guess a lot of people don’t really think about the way they treat people. Or animals.”

“I should be a vegetarian.” She looked to him with a little smile. “I think it’s really big of you.”

“You do things your own way. It’s alright.” He held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s hop it. I promise I’ll clear it.”

She stepped close. Her arms wrapped him up, and it was odd how much she’d changed over the years. He never would have thought Connie would get broader, but she had. He’d thought she’d stretch and tower over him, but instead, there was muscle to her arms and legs, a definition to her shoulders that hadn’t been there before. Connie had spent years training to fight with him.

He’d really wasted a lot of time she could’ve spent studying.

His arms slipped around her waist and he summoned up joy from the car ride over. It was easy to pull his emotions now, or at least mimic them closely enough to make his powers work. When he jumped, he floated, and his strength came so easy that it was nothing to support her as they quickly floated over, feet tapping gently into the wood chips below.

She was off like a bullet the second they touched down. Connie’s hands quickly found the horizontal ladder with just a little bounce, grabbing a wrung in each hand. With a quick rock and a tug from her core, her legs swung over her head, her body curled and rolling so she sat on top of the metal, legs dangling over the edge, and stared up at the stars like she wasn’t the most amazing human in the world pulling off a feat that left him breathless.

“What do you miss the most about being a kid?” she asked.

He walked over to her, hands in his pockets. A smile stretched across his face. “Looking up at you.”

“ _All I wanna do,_ ” she sang, just the bar, and it slipped away as she smiled down at him. “Come on. Really.”

He shrugged and sighed. “Hanging out with friends. After Homeworld, I felt like I spent a hold two years having everything rush by me. I went to a bunch of different planets, helping gems set up their colonies…” He could feel it getting sad, so he tried to brighten the mood, “You know, you really wouldn’t believe how many gems just went for full-on democracy. No officials, just everyone getting together and voting.”

Connie giggled and swung her legs. “Fully automated luxury gay space communism.”

“Anarchocommunism,” Steven said.

Her eyes widened. “Did you just correct my _political phrasing_?”

Steven ran a hand through his hair with an awkward laugh. “I mean, two years of helping gems establish their own colonies meant a lot of research into that kind of stuff. I wanted to make sure everyone got what they needed.”

“You really read all those books. I thought you just read passages,” she said in awe. Then rolled her eyes with a grin. “Gees, you think you know a guy. When you asked for help figuring out what they meant, I thought-”

“You do!” Panic boiled up in him as he stared up at her. _You think you know a guy_ , like she didn’t. Like they were falling apart. Like she hadn’t seen his whole soul ripped from his skin and hadn’t held him through it all. Like they had grown apart after that. “You do. You know me. You know me better than anyone. We can’t know everything about each other, right? No one does.”

“I’ve got something you don’t know. Something really bad.” Her face looked pained, worried. He leaned forward, breath catching as he waited for a problem to pour out. She put a hand dramatically to her forehead, her whole attitude suddenly shifting. “It rained earlier. This whole thing is wet, and now my butt is wet. When I stand up it’s going to be extremely embarrassing.”

He laughed, relieved and disappointed. “Connie! I thought you were going to be serious!”

“That’s what makes it a good joke,” she said, with a smile that felt a little off. “But, yeah. I’m sure there’s lots of stuff we don’t know about each other. It’s not like we’re spending practically every other day together training for a galactic war, right?”

She pushed and hopped in a graceful motion, and the jungle gym thrummed as she gots to her feet, slowly crossing the rungs. His heart spiked in his chest, but it was Connie. Each foot was carefully placed, not quite as graceful as Pearl but inspired by the way Pearl moved. Did she miss training with him? Did she miss prepping for the war? Did she miss the feeling of having something to look forward to, of being important?

He cut off those thoughts. No. She had dreams and goals for the future. She had suffered through everything for him, given up her life to help him, and that wasn’t a burden he could lesson by pretending she was in the same spot he was. Connie was fine. Connie was moving forward, pretty and graceful and perfect, while he was stuck in place.

Steven swallowed. “So… Let’s get to know each other more. What’s your favorite memory?”

“The first time we danced,” she said, eyes closed with a little smile. Her arms came out from her sides as she walked.

He laughed, recalling one of his favorites. “The first time we fused?”

“It was. But the dancing part is what I mean, right before we fused.” She reached the end of the ladder and twirled back around, her rubber soles squeaking against slick metal. “I told you I wished I could dance, and you covered your eyes so we could dance together. And, for the first time, I thought maybe people could like me even if I was weird.”

“You’re not weird,” Steven consoled.

“I am weird.” She paused, her eyes meeting his. “We’re _weird,_ Steven.”

He swallowed. “Not when we’re together.”

A smile broke out on her face, and it was like the sun was rising. “When we’re alone I feel normal. You’re the only person I feel really normal with, like I’m really me. I… it’s like that for you too, right?” A shocking turn, a sudden desperation in her voice as she looked down at him. “There’s… there’s stuff no one else went through. No one in the whole universe, not even the gems. Stuff you and me saw, and… and you understand that. We don’t talk about it but it’s there.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, throat tight. “It is.”

She turned back to the ladder, taking a steadying breath as she walked faster to the other side. “Which is fine, now. Because you’ve been doing amazing, cool stuff like Little Homeschool and helping the gems and I’ve been great. Studying. I’m going to get into a good college and get a good job and that’s just gr-”

When she pivoted on the wet she took it as hard as hard as she took the curve, and time slowed as she toppled back. Instincts took over as her training was good, making her pull forward and bend her knees for the landing, but she was tilted too far back at the start of the fall. The metal crashed like thunder as her shoulders and her neck slammed and scraped against the bar she had stood on.

Her neck. Her _neck_ . His mind raced to an image he never saw, of a deer impaled on a fence from its own weight and recklessness. Connie landed and grunted, falling to her knees after the landing, falling to her head, and when her hand clutched the back of her neck there was no thought in his mind but _She can’t die_. 

She wouldn’t die from that. He knew that. But he always felt like everyone was dying.

There were gentler ways to treat her but it didn’t matter. His weight pushed hard against her side, his hand grabbing her own to rip it away from the spot she cradled. He didn’t know it is was a bruise or sprain, if bone had cracked. His lips pressed frantically to the skin as he held her, holding the kiss for long moments before turning her face up to his.

“Where else?”

He couldn’t read her face, full of too many emotions to parse out. Her voice shook and cracked as she whispered, “Nowhere.” 

Steven couldn’t stand the thought, shaking his head. “I saw how hard you fell. Where else does it hurt? Are you shoulders sore?”

“I-It’s fine.” She started to squirm in his grip.

“Did you bang your head?”

“You already fixed me!” she snapped, shoving herself out of his arms. She scrambled to her feet, arms crossed over her chest. “It’s fine! I’ve got it.”

He couldn’t tell if she was lying. His head spiraled as his knees curled to his chest, muttering sorry as he hid his face against them. If he had said something earlier, maybe she wouldn’t have fallen. But she wouldn’t have listened. He could have _made_ her. But if he made her that was a different kind of awful. Should he press at her being fine? His lips itched to heal and he bit them as he reminded himself that she was fine, she said she was fine, and he had to trust that.

“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, and the words are so alien to his ears he looked up, snapped right out of his racing thoughts. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides as she looked away. “I shouldn’t have fallen and I got embarrassed. I don’t like bothering people when I get hurt.”

“But it’s _me_ ,” he said, his voice pathetic to his own ears. “I used to fix you all the time.”

“Not with everything.” She crossed her arms. “We never _really_ told each other everything. No one does.”

He wanted to argue, to insist he told her everything. He knew he didn’t, though. Connie never heard his worried thoughts about dying his hair pink. She never heard about the things he pretended with his mother in the Room. She didn’t know the fake dates he had tried to ask her on in that same room, or the practice conversations with Room-made gems to try to tell them how he hurt.

He knew he never would have heard about her flipping Jeff on combat instinct if they hadn’t fused. He knew there were more things that Connie had decided were not his problem, like he had decided with her, even though all of that felt wrong to him.

Steven swallowed and pointed to the small, spinning disk. “Want to stargaze on the carousel?”

“It’s wet,” she mumbled.

“Not for long.”

He held out a hand though he could get up just fine, and they both smiled as Connie helped him to his feet. She stood back as he grabbed one of the bars on the wheel and spun. Again and again, faster and faster until the metal was screaming. Water flew off in a refreshing mist rather than a soaking puddle, and he let the bars gently slap against the palm of his hand until it finally slowed to a stop.

Dry and clean, Steven gestured dramatically to the disk. “Your chariot, my lady.”

“Oh, thank you, my lord.” She bowed with a flourish, then hoped up on the metal.

They laid side by side, cold seeping through their clothes and into their bones everywhere but the spots their arms touched. Connie’s fingers pointed up to the sky, and he watched her face in awe as she rambled about the stars above. They had been stuck of the moon of _that_ star. Another star was Homeworld’s. That blob was a galaxy, that star was a planet full of bismuths, that was a satellite. 

He propped his head up on his hand. “How do you know all this stuff?”

“Oh, it’s my greatest talent,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “I ask followup questions.”

“Is it possible to learn this power?” Connie laughed and gave him a playful shove, and he continued, “You really like space, huh?”

She shrugged. “Final frontier.”

“There’s a lot to explore,” he agreed.

Connie put her hands behind her head. “When I was a kid, Mom and Dad got me these storybooks about the Indian Islands, all about how we started on this one big island, and then some people went off to explore. Little boats crossing all that open water, knowing there was something on the horizon would risking everything for.”

“How did they all stay the same people?” he asked. “Why aren’t there a million little countries over there?”

“It’s a diverse country.” She laughed. “Lots of little cultures. Lots of fighting. It’s just grouped up now because of the government and boarders everyone weirdly agreed on. Mostly agreed on. But, I don’t know. I don’t think it really matters. It’s more about humanity, I guess. We grow and search and explore. We can make life without taking it, as long as we’re careful.”

“Yeah.” He said, lead in his stomach as she kept talking.

“I hope humanity can go as far as the gems have, even if we’re slower. I think we could make something really beautiful out in all those stars.” She stretched up her hand again, pointing to the jungle moon. “Imagine living there. A whole other world. With the warps you can pop back to Earth when you need, set up supplies. Making a colony, but _with_ the place. Not killing it. Humans could do that.”

Steven laughed, his fingers guiltily pressing to the gem on his stomach. “Yeah. Us gems aren’t great for the universe.”

“I don’t know. Gems have been pretty great for mine.” She grinned. “Pearl, Garnet, Peridot, Lapis…”

“And me, right?” he said. “Gem boy Steven?”

“Yeah.” She laughed and shook her head. “Sorry. It feels weird to just group you in with other gems.”

“Right. Because I’m half and half.” It stung, and self-pity flowed out even as he tried to bite it back. “Fifty percent human and fifty percent gem. Not really anything.”

“That’s never how I thought about it.” Connie frowned. “You’re not… less. Like, bisexual people aren’t fifty percent gay fifty percent straight. Nonbinary people aren’t always fifty percent man and fifty percent woman. To me, you’re one hundred percent human and one hundred percent gem.” She poked his side and she rolled to fully face him, a big cheesy grin on her face. “Adds up to two hundred percent the best friend a girl could ask for.”

“I’m still your best friend?” he asked, tugging the finger that poked him.

“Always, silly.”

“What if you start dating and get married?” he asked.

“You’ll still be my best friend.” She flopped onto her back with a giggle. “Seriously, you don’t have to worry. You know I’ve started getting asked out sometimes, right?.”

“O-oh.” His eyes widened. He hadn’t. He’d remember that, because right then his heart was ripping and his stomach was burning and his whole world was following apart, so he’d remember the _worst moment of his life_ if she had mentioned it before. Somehow his voice was steady. “You didn’t say you were dating anyone.”

“I never said yes.” She frowned, and he hoped the nearly gasping relief he felt wasn’t obvious. “They always felt… Kevin-y.”

He stiffened. “Why? Are people being bad to you?”

“No! It’s just… It’s never _friends_ ,” she explained, her hands fumbling in the air. “It’s just random people. A-and, they’re not being Kevin. I know they’re not. But when random people ask me out I think about him and I get this awful feeling in my gut, like even if I’ve heard that they’re nice they’re just going to be Kevin. Because they don’t even _know_ me, so how could they know they want to go out with me?”

He tried not to sound condescending as he asked, “That’s the point of dates, isn’t it?”

“I know!” She laughed and covered her face. “I know. I can _know_ that and it can still feel awful. Sometimes stuff from when you’re a kid just sticks with you forever, you know? And I think that Kevin isn’t ever gonna leave me. He doesn’t deserve the time of day, but every time a stranger asks me out I’m gonna remember him and I’m gonna say no. Don’t you have stuff like that?”

White Diamond’s face flashes in his mind. “Doesn’t everybody?”

“I…” Her hand squeezed over her heart as her breath came heavy. Slow, somehow, but deep and loud. “I don’t think so. Everyone hurts but I think… I think some kinds of hurt are different. I think there might be stuff that you and I have that most people don’t. Because there are things I say and do that… But maybe we have it together?”

“We have a lot of stuff together.” His hand found hers. “I don’t wanna talk abou-”

“No. Right.” Her hand squeezed his hard, trembling a little. “It’s a nice night. You’re with me, so it’s a great night. Best friends. Always.”

“You can’t know that,” he said, and immediately cursed himself for dragging the night down.

But she didn’t look sad. Connie looked at him, eyes fierce. He’d seen that look countless times in combat, in training, when she studied for a big test. Connie _did_ things. She made things happen. There were days he thought that Connie could have done all the gem stuff better than him, with her drive and wit and eagerness. It was usually the moments where she looked so determined it took his breath away.”

Her voice was firm. “We weren’t best friends for a couple of weeks. That was the last time. We can _make_ it happen, right up until one of us dies. We just have to put in the work.”

“People drift.”

“Because they let go.” She held up their joined hands. “This is all it takes. Just keep holding on no matter how bad the current gets. Relationships are a choice, just like fusion. You make them happen.”

He dropped her off later than night, and the night was a fond memory. All of it was. Most of it was fun and joy, things he would hold close to his heart when he was having a bad day or he burned his pizza in the oven.

But when he hurt, he remembered that moment.

All their hands came together, clasped tight in cold air, and their foreheads met in the dark. Grounding and reality on their quiet piece of earth, with memories sweeping and tugging like raging white waters. The night sky hung above them, big and endless with a weight of possibility and responsibility that so often threatened to rip him into the endless void of black.

When he hurt, he remembered when she held him as tight as he held her, and the ache of the grip felt human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! Thank you so much for the absolutely amazing response to this fic. I can't wait for Together Forever to give me endless feeling tomorrow!


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